If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.' - Jeff Foxworthy
My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing. - Jeff Foxworthy
There's a whole segment of the population with a mentality that bases good times on where they can go and what they can buy. - Jeff Foxworthy
I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead - Jeff Foxworthy
The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house. - Jeff Foxworthy